Movie Review - Six Gun Savior

Six Gun Savior

2016

The Cast

This is a mixed bag of the good the bad and the downright ugly.  It's a real hit and miss affair... and, unfortunately, is mostly miss.

The story isn't anything we've not seen before.  The Devil buys the soul of our hero and sets him out on a tour of duty chasing down his adversaries.  Of course, since this is good old Lucifer we're talking about, there are a few double crosses along the way.  Not too bad a tale, though as I said, nothing new.

The Good...  I really did enjoy Robert's portrayal of Ol'Scratch himself.  He gives off an air of jubilance and arrogance, which suits Beelzebub well.  Kove gives a strong performance as "The Mentor", which is a pretty well thought out character as he's as cunning and tricky as a fox.  Shame he only appears halfway through.  Then there's Maya Tremblay as Muna, the female shaman.  Though she's silent for the most part, she's still a strong enough actress to give a character to her portrayal.

The Bad...  Rose as Liz Russell is the apotheosis of this film.  When we first meet her she is pretty terrible... then a couple of scenes later, she's quite good... throughout the film her acting ability jumps between the two, making the film awkward and disjointed.  The directing is just too average.  It's not terrible but it's not good either.  The horse chases could have been handled a lot better than they were.  The same can be said about the fight sequences too.  They needed to be better choreographed and acted and filmed.  This is where the film is let down the most as these are meant to be exciting but they're not that interesting or invigorating to watch.  The music... the director opted for a classic western overture feel.  Which may have worked had they had a full orchestra.  Then there's the pace of the film.  I always thought westerns played too slowly and that was why I loved the spaghetti style better.  But this is a supernatural western and as such should have been eerier, tenser, and more atmospheric... but it just felt like a second-rate '50's western, which in this case is bad.

The Ugly... Oh, My God, I don't know which was worse, Matthew Ziff's wooden acting, as the antihero, Kyle "Hawk" Hawkins, or his weak Clint Eastwood accent, which he slipped into when he needed to play the hardened hero.   Though, even Matthew Ziff looked like an Oscar nominee for "Best Actor" when he played opposite his mom Lorraine Ziff, who plays the bad girl Zathera; a supernatural being with the ability to pull a person's life-force from them and has the ability to shape-shift.  The other thing that was off was the second evil-smiting team.  There really wasn't any need for these to be in the film at all.  It just appeared a way to get Russ, who played Ezekiel Roak, into the film.  It also seemed that we should know these people and have an already formed opinion about them.  If that's not the case then they could be planning a spin-off movie with these characters.  Either way, it just reeked like a month old Stilton, left out in the sun.

So if you're a fan of westerns, with a supernatural twist, this may be up your street... though I would recommend you wait for a snow day and only then if you've exhausted all other viewing possibilities.

I give this flick a Good, Bad, and Ugly 4.75 out of 10.

The Trailer

 

Movie Review - Sleeping Beauty

Sleeping Beauty

2014

The Cast

Apart from the terrible acting from an okay cast and some dodgy directing, this isn't too bad a story.  As a film though, it's only average.

Though the cast has B-Movie king Casper Van Dien (who directed this flick), Catherine Oxenberg, and Michael York listed, their worth in this film is minimal.  The real bad thing is their lack of spirit is tangible.  Poor York is the narrator and appears to have literally phoned his part in.  There's no emotion or feeling in his voice; something which is a basic requirement in a narrator.  Even though, Van Dein and Oxenberg, as Sleeping Beauties regal parents, are asleep for the majority of the movie they actually appear to be sleepwalking in their "awake" scenes.

Even Olivia D'Abo who has a meatier role as the evil witch, Queen Tambria, ofttimes appears to be a somnambulist.  The best actors in this little play are the Kings whipping boy, Barrow (Finn Jones) and the Prince Jayson (Edward Lewis French) along with his heavy Gruner (Gil Kolirin), and his soldiers.

What this film really appears to be is an exercise in how many Van Dien's you can get on the screen in one film... that would be all of them.  Most families would have a picnic... the Van Diens make a movie.

The one thing that did surprise me was the location.  For one, it actually worked.  It even reminded me a little of the Hammer House Of Horror sets of far-off European principalities - it even came with a graveyard and earth clawing walking dead.  Even the inside locations were decent.  It was a delight to see proper stone walls.  I would love to live in that mansion come castle.

That said, there were a lot of gaping holes in the story that Dien should have ironed out when filming.  For example, there's one scene where Prince Jayson sends Barrow up the castle walls to secure a rope through the only open window.  Instead of getting him to check the place out while he's up there, he orders him to come straight down and they will camp in the courtyard, for the night.  Then later the next day, they're being chased by dead warriors and climb the rope to escape only to find it leads to a balcony, with no entrance into the castle... hhhmmm, if only somebody had looked around before then they wouldn't be in this predicament.  I cannot believe they were so stupid back then.  This is bad writing and directing.

There are some nice beasties in the film, though you can see when the budget started to run low.  The lake monster is pretty good, as is the one which scales the outside of the building the first night they're there.  However, near the climax of the film, the same monster is looking pretty funny and quite unrealistic as it prowls the dungeons.

On the whole, this film could have been a hell of a lot better had the "Quality" cast put the effort into their portrayals of their characters... the story had been tightened and all the holes filled... and ropey special effects thrown onto the cutting room floor.  You shouldn't rely on CGI if the budget won't carry it, find another way round to entertain the audience.

If there's very little on the telly and it's miserable outside then you could give this a try.  It'll waste an hour and a half.

I give this a snoozy could be better than average 4.75 out of 10.

The Trailer

Movie Review - Dear Secret Santa

Dear Secret Santa

2013

The Cast

This is the Christmas version of The Lake House with a magic wishing well thrown in.  After receiving a call that her father has fallen, Jennifer rushes back to her childhood home where she starts to learn a few truths about herself.  Then one night she throws a coin into the wishing well and wishes for true love.  The next morning she finds a Christmas Card waiting for her in the mailbox and it's signed Secret Santa.  There's another card the following morning so she sets out to find out who her Secret Santa is.  She quickly realises it's none of the men she suspects and as the days pass and the cards keep arriving she comes to the conclusion that the sender is Jack, the boy next door.  The bad thing is Jack died three years previously in a car accident.

Though this is a touching story, especially in respect to Jennifer and her fathers strained relationship, and romantic, with the paranormal letter writing, there are a few things which stop this from being a great movie.  Though it was nice to see Ali in gold lingerie after her hospital gown gets caught in a door, the scene isn't needed as it adds nothing to the film and there's no other similar "Bawdy" jokes in the movie - had it been a "Carry On" film this scene would have been spot on, but is just awkward here.  Another awkward scene is when Jennifer goes to meet an author on the paranormal (especially probable time-travel).  This is because the scene feels rushed and thrown in just so Della Reese can make an appearance.  It's Jennifer's unquestioning belief in the time-travel theory which doesn't sit right in my claw.  This is made more awkward when Reece's character starts to belittle her own work in the field.  Once again, this is another superfluous scene.  Had it been better written it could have added a little more depth to the tale.

That said, on the whole, this is a very good and heartwarming story that is well acted and nicely filmed.  If you like romance, Christmas, and heartwarming family dramas then this will be for you.  It is well worth one watch and has made it onto my "Watch Again" list - though I may have to have a couple of years between viewings.

I give this a time-travelling seasonal 7 out of 10.

The Trailer

Movie Review - The Year Without A Santa Claus

The Year Without A Santa Claus

2006

The Cast

 

Though this movie sports a decent cast it still falls short of creating a decent movie.  For one, the story isn't too original.  Santa is feeling a little under-appreciated and so decides to take the year off.  The thing is he doesn't since everything is resolved before Christmas Eve - so even the title of the movie is incorrect.

Then, though I've loved Goodman since Rosanne, he just doesn't cut it as the big guy, and his head elf in charge of toy production, Sparky (Kattan), is just plain annoying.  If it wasn't for Ethan Suplee and Eddie Griffin as the rogue elves in search of a human child who still believes in Christmas then this would have been one dire movie.

Harvey Fierstein is great as the Fire Meiser who along with his brother Snow Meiser control the Earths weather.  It's Fierstein's loud and gruff voice along with his overacting that adds to the comedic performance of his character.  It's just a shame that they have to sing... and to have some pretty dreadful special effects, especially in the boxing match when Sparky gets into the action.

There are a few decent ideas, such as "The Divide" which separates the real world from The North Pole and "The Veil" which keeps them hidden from onlookers.  There are also a few good scenes, I particularly liked the BEGOTHS at the toy expo in the opening sequence.

That said, I wouldn't really recommend this movie to many people as it appears staid and dated by today's standards.  I even think that kids could be bored and uninterested as the film is uncertain of its audience - kids, teens, young adults, adults?  It feels uncomfortable trying to please everyone.

If there's nothing else on and you're trapped in your home while in a blizzard and there's nothing else to watch...

I give this film a not so naughty and not so nice 4.75 out of 10

The Film Clip

Movie Review - Beverly Hills Christmas

Beverly Hills Christmas

2015

The Cast

If it wasn't for Dean Cain and some of the supporting cast this would have been a really dire movie.  As it stands, it's badly written (though the premise is sound and should have made a better story), even worsely directed, and poorly acted.

The movie is lacking in wit, humour, melancholy, and Christmas atmosphere.  In fact, this should only be shown as a "How NOT to make a Christmas Film".

Though I suffered through the really bad acting at the beginning of the movie, it did appear that Donna and Ravin Spangler started to get into their characters at the halfway stage... or I could've just adapted to their horrendous acting.

I wouldn't advise anybody to watch this film at any time as there are so many better Christmas Films around, which I would recommend over this one.

I give this a boring and icy 4 out of 10.

The Trailer

Movie Review - Unlikely Angel

Unlikely Angel

1996

The Cast

This is a highly enjoyable tale of a family who has distanced themselves from one another after the death of their mother and wife.  Dolly Parton does an excellent job of country singer Ruby Diamond who dies in a car accident while trying not to run over a young deer.  This act of selflessness gives her the chance to progress into Heaven rather than Hell, as long as she can complete one task by midnight of Christmas Eve... to bring the broken and grieving family back together.

In the true nature of this type of Christmas tale trials and tribulations are thrown in her way.  What sets this above most of this ilk is the quality of the story, which isn't overly melodramatic but humorous and witty.  And the cast, which works well together, is superb with the comedic elements of the script, especially Roddy McDowell as Saint Peter.

As Christmas flicks go this is one of the best and well worth a watch - it should easily put a smile on your face.

It's also a bonus that Dolly Parton's wardrobe is stitched together to show off every one of her other obvious assets... 

This is a film that I would recommend to Crimbo lovers and romantics alike - also if you have an interest in anything paranormal or slightly religious or like a good laugh then this could be for you.  At least it's a good way to waste an hour and a half.

I give this a fire crackling 7.25 out of 10.

Trailer

Dolly Parton Sings "Unlikely Angel" - From the movie.

Movie Review - Wonder Woman (2017)

Wonder Woman

2017

Production Companies:  DC Entertainment, Warner Bros, Atlas Entertainment, Dune Entertainment, Wanda Pictures, Tencent Pictures, & Cruel & Unusual Films

Finally, the DC Movie Universe has made a film they can be proud of.  This film is definitely a step in the right direction for the DC Superheros, though, it doesn't make up for the travesties which came before it.  They should use this as the mile stick with which to measure their up and coming films.  Though I cannot help but feel Justice League will be taking a few steps backwards from this film.

I liked the fact that the writers decided to use mix the origin stories up and have Diana coming to the world of man during the First World War; this strengthens the concept of her being immortal.  As well as allowing for some nice special effects in the dog fight scenes and other period specific weaponry.  Zeus created the Amazons to bring love and peace to mankind, though mankind corrupted by Ares enslaved them.  Hippolyte led a revolt to free the Amazons and when Zeus brought the god to help in their defence Ares killed them.  Zeus with his dying breath crippled Ares and created Themyscira to hide the Amazons from mankind.  So here is the first error, Zeus is dead but yet he later breathes life into a clay-shaped human effigy to create Diana.  All is well on the island until Steve Trevor's plane crashes off the coast and Diana dives in to save him.  Trevor has the secret poison book of Dr, Maru; the Germans hot on his trail shoot him down,  Here comes a second error, there's a group of Germans in a rowboat looking for the wreckage of the plane, they stick their head through the fog which hides the island and then attacks the Amazons... and lose, of course.  Though I did wonder where the battleship they came from and the one which had shot Trevor down has disappeared to... as we see no more Germans (sloppy writing).  Believing Ares is to blame for the ongoing war, Trevor describes, Diana takes it upon herself to hunt him down and kill him, with the God Killer sword.

As I stated there are a couple of obvious errors in the opening set up and this continues throughout the film.  It would have been nice if somebody had pointed them out so they could be taken care off.  Most of them are small issues and easily resolved but they do hinder the film a little.  

However, they are only small and the movie is pretty massive so the good does outweigh the bad.  Though Gal Gadot does a good job in the Wonder Woman persona, she's not too great as Diana Prince.  Saying she's coming from an island where the main way to travel is by horse and foot, where they are trained in sword fighting and archery, and the main food is fresh fish, vegetables and fruit she doesn't appear too surprised by automobiles, aeroplanes, ships, and the modern weaponry... let alone the "new food".  Though they include the "Ice Cream" scene it would have been nice to have seen a little more childish enthusiasm and awe in this character.

Chris Pine fits the Steve Trevor character like a glove and gets his persona down pat, though a little more womanising, or even hints at it would've added strength to it.  Lucy Davis is splendid as Etta Candy, Steve Trevor's secretary, and actually has the air of awe I wished Diana Prince to have.  The bad guy Ludendorff and his crony Dr Maru are brilliantly played by Danny Huston and Elena Anaya, respectively.  They give a creepy and flesh-crawling performance in their roles.  David Thewlis was an inspired choice for Sir Patrick, though I have to admit I'm not too sure that he was completely right for the part, though I do know what the writers and director were doing when they cast him.  Not a completely genius move, but close.

Patty Jenkins does a marvellous job of the directing.  She keeps the action tight and fast paced though has the nerve to slow it down at the right times to emphasize an action, a movement, or a special effect.  This keeps it interesting for the viewer.  Though in the more drama based sets she opts for a more standard style of camera work.  A few differing camera angles would have been nice.  Though this is a lighter film in atmosphere to other DC adaptations there are a lot of scenes shot in dark atmosphere's  A little normal lighting and brighter sets would've strengthened the darkness and grimness of the front line, which was filmed with the same filters as their entry into London.  So the front line could have been a muddy football field in London.  It would have been nice to bring DC out of the dark fully.

That said this is a really entertaining film, which sticks to the characters basic ethos.  It is a spectacularly nice waste of time which I would recommend anybody to see and unlike previous DC Universe Movies, this one is really worth watching... and may even be worth keeping.  As stated before, I hope they take heed of this movie and implement this style of film making and storytelling into their upcoming films.

This is why the 1975's Wonder Woman theme is still the best...

...and just because it's AWESOME...