Movie Review - The Lego Movie

The Lego Movie

2014

Warner Bros. Pictures / Village Roadshow Pictures / RatPac Dune Entertainment / The Lego Group / Vertigo Entertainment / Lin Pictures / Warner Bros. Animation

20th Century Fox / Warner Home Video

4.25 / 10

This is an atrociously boringly unfunny and predictable movie, though it's beautifully shot.  All the faults lie with writers and directors Phil Lord and Christopher Miller.

The synopsis of the movie is pretty decent and should have resulted in a good movie.  A regular Lego construction worker, Emmet, finds out that he's the master builder of an ancient prophecy that states he'll save the world from the craggle and Lord Business.

Where the story falls short is the overused and cliched jokes and characters and they were telegraphed so early you knew they were coming.  For example, Emmet has only had one original design idea - a double-decker sofa; so when asked to build something when they are trying to escape from Bad-Cop and his minions, he builds (you guessed it) his double-decker sofa while everybody else builds the submarine; then when the sub is destroyed by Bad-Cop guess what survives... yep, you're right the sofa.  I was groaning and shaking my head.  All too predictable.

Next major fault is the direction, there are lots of scenes that are dragged out too long, in particular, the scene where Bad-Cop / Good-Cop (which was a very inventive idea) is interrogating Emmet.  Bad-Cop gets angry and goes mental and kicks a chair around the room.  It's not that funny a scene and it becomes boring quite quickly as the directors stretch the sequence out and actually diminishes the scene.

Another thing the films suffers with is the vocal talents.  With the exception of Will Arnet as Bruce Wayne / Batman, Elizabeth Banks as Wyldstyle / Lucy, and Nick Offerman as Metal Beard, the rest of the voices just don't quite fit their character.  I am not a big fan of Will Ferrell though I have to admit he's not too bad here as he reigns in some of his outlandishness.  However, he should have been more intimidating, mean, and menacingly voiced for his character of Lord Business.  I felt embarrassed for Morgan Freeman as he sounded tired, for the most part, in his rendition of Vitruvius.  Then there was the grating and annoying tones of Unikitty, played by Amanda Brie, who had me reaching for the remote and the off button.  I did like the way that they incorporated original voices into the cast as C3P0 was voiced by Anthony Daniels and Billy Dee Williams voiced Lando - shame they couldn't do it with the rest of the "Known" cast.

The only good thing this film had going for it was the Lego itself and it's CGI generation.  Had the rest of the film been as good these scenes it would have been a masterpiece of filmmaking.  However special effects cannot carry a film alone.

To be honest I wouldn't recommend this film to anybody.  There are a lot of much better kids films out there... So go treat yourself and watch one of them.  I wouldn't even push this for the Batman element, even though he's one of the main good elements he's still not enough... and he even starts to wear thin as the movie progresses...  I'm now a little worried for The Lego Batman Movie.

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Rose Of The Oath.

A Beauty And The Beast Novella

Legends Of Light Book 1

By Hope Ann

They were coming. They never stopped coming.

A wolf howled, the call rising to an eerie pitch before dropping, hurtling downward. The echo barely faded when another howl replied. Always… Always, forever, and yet again, they would come.

His breath slipped between his teeth and he finally lifted his gaze from the crimson rose as the wind hurtled off, whistling through the narrow pass that led outward. Out into the forest. Out into Aslaria.

And so he waited. 

Meanwhile, war clouds the horizon and rebels gather under a mysterious leader. Alone, with her two younger sisters, Elissa watches the mountain road desperately for her brother’s return. Instead, she receives news of his capture by a strange figure covered in scars and cloaked in wolf skins.

With rebels drawing nearer, she sets off to find her brother. To save him. There is no one else who can.

Yet she soon finds the rose that granted her warning now holds her captive in safety. Outside the valley, war threatens those she loves most. Though her strange host claims the ancient promises of the Prince’s return and victory over the rebels, Elissa knows the blood-drenched truth. She is on her own. Elissa will do anything to keep her family safe, but more than one kind of wolf stalks the Blackwood and danger lurks closer than she could ever imagine. 

Perfect for those who love fantasy, but don’t have the time to sit down for a full-length novel, this first novella in the Legends of Light series presents the story of Beauty and the Beast as you have never read it before. Danger, sacrifice, and treachery combine a thrilling retelling of a favorite fairy tale.

Each Legends of Light novella focuses on one of the nine aspects of the Fruit of the Spirit while also following the conflict between the Prince and Tauscher and retelling popular fairy tales in a clean, exciting, and inspiring manner.

Note: A novella is not a full-length novel. At 107 pages, this novella is a fairly quick read which can be finished in two or three hours.

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Movie Review - Destruction: Las Vegas

Destruction: Las Vegas

2013

Brainstorm Media

NBC Universal Domestic Television Distribution

2.25 / 10

This is one of the worst posters I've ever seen and the movie is one of the worst I've ever seen - The poster says it all.

I love disaster movies, they're one of my favourite forms of light entertainment.  They are full of improbable probabilities about the future of our planet; that at their best, make us take note and think, what if(?)  At their worst, they usually make you laugh, even though it's unintentional.

So when I read that the writer, Meyer Shwarzstein with screenwriters Joe D'Ambrosia and Tom Teves had added a fantasy element I thought I'd give it a go...

The mistake was mine.  My imagination had already given life to the synopsis...  The film falls woefully short in every way.

Firstly, the acting was so awful I was wishing the cast would die off quicker.  Even Frankie Muniz, who has proved he can act was terrible.  The only decent actor in the whole film was Barry Bostwick who does a great job of portraying a constant gin drinking, wash-up, slightly sleazy, lounge piano player.  It's because of Bostwick the film got the rating it did from me.

Secondly, the director handles the story material ludicrously.  There is no way anybody is going to believe any of this modern fantasy tale.  I know it's meant to be lighthearted and comedic but it even misses here.  There are too many holes and continuity errors that are glaringly obvious, as well as some impossible situations.  These are evident in other disaster films, though in this movie they are less forgivable because of how the story is handled.  The pace and flow are so muddled it gives the movie a disjointed feel.

Thirdly, the special effects, are way below average.  Though most movies of this ilk are low-budget the effects are usually well created and carried out to maximise the power and atmosphere of destruction.  However, in this film they are so unrealistic my attention was actually broken, as I shook my head in disgust.

The writers and directors of this film should have watched Sharknado and others of a similar vein; then they would've had some idea on how to handle the subject material.

I couldn't in all good conscience recommend this film to anyone.  Though if you find yourself kidnapped by Jigsaw and forced to watch this movie then you can take some solace in the fact that at least Barry Bostwick may keep you from going insane...

Movie Review - Captain America: Civil War

Captain America:

Civil War

2016

Marvel Studios / Vita-Ray Dutch Productions / Studio Babelsberg / Deluxe Digital Studios / Marvel Entertainment

Walt Disney Studios Motion Pictures / Netflix / Walt Disney Studios Home Entertainment

8.5 / 10

Just when the Avengers stories were getting stale and very familiar, writers Christopher Markus and Stephen McFeely along with directors Anthony and Joe Russo bring us the best Avengers movie to date... except that it isn't since it's Capt's film.

Let's get this out of the way, this is loosely based on Mark Millar's opus though it could never reach the depths of characterisation or story in just the two and half hour runtime.  Though the story has been pared down to the minimum basics of the original, what we do get is very entertaining.  After the disastrous effects of Age Of Ultron the governments of the world are wanting to put a leash on the Avengers and all other heroes.  Not all of the heroes are accepting of this arrangement, especially Captain America who goes off on his own.

The only thing I would have liked in this film is a deeper look at the psychological effects the Sokovia Sanctions, which are addressed in the graphic novels.  This would have made it stronger and more accessible to adults.  They could have done this without changing the certification.

It was also nice to see the other newbies to the Marvel universe - Ant-Man, The Black Panther, and of course The Amazing Spiderman.  It was great seeing Spidey finally mixing it up in the with The Avengers and with the changing eye lenses in his costume and the best and most accurate portrayal yet, from Tom Holland - Awesome.  Though I'm not too sure about the upcoming Homecoming movie or the role Stark is to play in Peter Parkers costume.  The star of this film though has to be The Black Panther - Chadwick Boseman gives a brilliantly cool portrayal of the hero prince of Wakanda.

The rest of the cast give the performances we are used to from the rest of the series.

Thanks to the directors, the action is fast and furious, and thanks to Spidey and Ant-Man pretty funny.  The effects are superb, as always, and they don't overpower the story or the screen as with previous films - the fight scene on Ultron was too busy and confusing (and too short).  The pace is varied and creates a rollercoaster ride of a film which helps keep the emotions of the viewers fluctuating between excitement and the dramatic.  This is a well-constructed and crafted movie.

For me, this third instalment of the Captain America series is the best; and as I stated at the start it's also the best Avengers movie too.  If you've not started watching any of the Marvel Universe films yet then this is one to catch.  It works as a stand-alone movie as it references the previous films in a way that you don't need to see them to know what's happening here.  In regards to both Captain America and The Avengers, this is the only movie in each of the series which I will watch more than once, it is that enjoyable.